jack of all, master of "kor song" (None)

Today finally got to showcase our work for 4D movie and it was really interesting in the way they did it. Jovian impressed me with his “artistic” work by finishing it in 3 hours, though it was done in such short time frame but it really looks good. I spent 2 weeks to finish my stuff yet not they great at all. Also, the Japanese anime style by Siyuan and Denise were also impressive. The best part is yuchao work, where he drew his entire scene and with the music and dialogue, the whole movie is really impressive.

After school, yuchao, Susanne and I went to the lab. I actually ask yuchao to bring his work so do I, to learn from one another. He really had done some good 2D animation in his past. Oh my god, his drawing is really good. Looking back at my work, I realized something very wrong… really wrong…

Suddenly I feels so lost, feel so confuse, I am just a person who knows everything in multimedia yet no specialization. I believe this is what my poly trains me. I should have gone to Nanyang poly instead to specialize in animation. However, times can’t turn back, that’s why I choose to go SADM. I wanted to train myself and really specialized in specific area through my degree studies.

What am I going to do??? Seriously I feel that I feel just like a lost sheep wandering around the media world, no idea which direction to head. Even I set the direction sometimes I feel that I was on the wrong track. Most of my friend does their work with their feel and heart and they do create stuff that I never had thought of it before. I feel I am really very “robot” in some way, always plan my stuff down and executing it systematically. How can I be creative in this way??? I am just not brave enough to step out of this system to break free and explore. Am I afraid of my academics results, my standard of work or not willing to leave my comfort zone? Thought I suppose to come here to explore myself and find my true self and work towards my dreams?

I really don’t know… think I should really put aside the memorable days and event that happens to me in poly, really start a new here, giving myself the chance to explore and discover the new me… am I able to do that? I tell myself before and in the beginning of school term, yes I do see some changes but I just get back to what I am after awhile…

Tired… I am really tired… mind not working today…